


How

by Harryissuchalittleshit



Series: The Imprint Anthology [2]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Depression, Emergency c-section, F/M, Rose has some issues, TW: Car accident death, TW: Suicide Mention, Teen Pregnancy, Therapy, Underage Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, she dies and comes back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:06:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23437402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harryissuchalittleshit/pseuds/Harryissuchalittleshit
Summary: Rose has been through a lot.First, she lost her twin sister and her mother.Second, she was abandoned on the side of the road, then found by the Clearwaters.Third, Harry died and she lost her siblings to the Pack.Fourth, she tried to kill herself.And fifth, she lost her best friend, she lost her Brady.She's trying to put the pieces together, she trying to find herself again.She's trying to dance again.
Relationships: Brady Fuller/Rose Clearwater, Harry Fuller/Terra Call
Series: The Imprint Anthology [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1674550
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There is mentions of suicide and character death, but nothing graphic.

**How**

_By Maroon 5_

Roslyn Elena Tamah, or as she was otherwise known as Rose Elizabeth Clearwater, stood in front of the mirror. She was short, always had been, and she was skinny, no matter how much she ate. She had a long scar from her right shoulder down to her hip, a reminder of the last time she saw her twin sister and mother alive.

Rose pushed her hair out of her face and sighed as it fell back in place. She pulled on her hoodie again and left the bathroom, only to bump into Seth.

“Are you ready?” he asked, and she shrugged. She was ready to be dragged around to someone else’s house and be babysat from the day.

It had been her routine for the last eight months, ever since her failed suicide attempt.

Seth waited for her to start walking down the hall and with a roll of her eyes, she led the way out of the house. She slipped her sandals on as they left the house, and Seth gave her her backpack. Rose slipped it over her shoulder and sighed as she sat down in the front seat of his jeep.

Rose stared out the window as the scenery blurred pass, she loved the green, she loved the cold and the wet of their home, their land. She wasn’t from La Push, instead she was born farther up north, in the Makah tribe’s reservation.

Harry and Leah had found her on the side of the road, where her father had left her.

“Go on,” said Seth, as they pulled up outside of a large white house. “They already know you’re here.”

Rose looked at him, then climbed out of the jeep. She glanced back at him before walking up the stairs to her new hell of the day.

~`~

Love is sadness.

Crying and screaming and fighting, the loud echo and the still tension after. It didn’t calm, it didn’t help, it didn’t do any good.

It was a haunting feeling.

~`~

Rose was out matched.

She used to be good with children, she used be the babysitter everyone called on. She was good with Leah’s son, the very little she saw of him since he came home. He was only a few weeks old, but he was the perfect combination of Leah and Jacob.

“Do you like math?” asked Renesmee, as she looked at Rose’s homework. She had been doing home correspond classes since she got out of the hospital in October.

Rose stared at her, she didn’t actually know how old Renesmee was, but she was sure she wasn’t actually five like how she looked to be. Renesmee shouldn’t even know that geometry was math, let alone studying it beside her.

“No,” Rose told her, turning back to her book and glaring at the page.

Renesmee turned back to her notebook on the coffee table and Rose pulled herself in closer. She was cold, but that wasn’t anything new, she was never warm anymore. Ever since Harry died she hadn’t felt like herself.

She had mandatory therapy once a week, but her doctor was horrible and didn’t actually listen to her. Not that Rose really talked to her, she just tried to erase her words, not listen to them.

Rose was used to it, had been in the last year, ever since Harry had died, no one had paid her much attention or listened to what she had to say.

“How do you know Seth?” asked one of the Cullens, Rose didn’t really know any of them. She knew Dr. Cullen, but that was because of Sue working at the hospital. She was unfamiliar with the rest of them though, even Bella, who she had met before Harry’s death.

“He’s my brother,” Rose told him, all of them. She knew that they all could hear this conversation, Seth had once explained all of the vampire perks.

“I thought that Leah was-“

“I’m adopted.”

~`~

Love is bringing in strangers.

Seeing someone standing on the side of the road and giving them a ride. Bringing them into the family because they have none. Taking in everyone that they can.

It’s an act of friendship, an act of family, an act of love.

She’s not the first stray.

~`~

Rose stared at her.

It always starts with a question, something simple and easy. Rosalie likes to bring her out into the garage where she works on the family’s cars and Rose sits and talks to her. She likes to tell her about Harry, about all of the stray animals he brought home, all of the foster cats and dogs and birds, taken in until they have a home.

Harry was in charge of the animal control in the whole county. It was one of the things that she admired most about him, his love and compassion for those who didn’t have a voice.

Today they were sitting in one of the chairs out on the large wrap around porch. Rose was starting to like the Cullen’s house, it was beautiful and cozy and too big. It made sense for a family of nine, like what they were, but not for Rose.

She missed sharing a room with Leah. She missed having Seth and Sue around. She missed Harry.

“So how’s Leah?” asked Rosalie, and Rose looked down at her feet. She hated wearing shoes, she always had, she used to run around in the woods barefoot growing up.

This was a simple enough question, but there was a lot to uncover. Leah was her sister, an age difference of six years that didn’t mean too much to either of them, she had once been her best friend.

“I don’t know,” Rose told Rosalie, from where she was perched in her own chair across from her.

“Then tell me what you do know,” said Rosalie, which was her answer for Rose whenever she said she didn’t know something.

Honestly, Rose could go on and on about Leah. She could tell Rosalie about how Leah always sang to herself when she got ready in the morning. About how before the phasing she would tackle her every morning and wake her up with kisses and tickles and laughter. She could tell her about how she was never herself after Sam had dumped her.

“She won’t let me see the baby,” Rose told her, finally stating what she wanted to say since Max was born. “I don’t know if it’s because she’s worried I would do something, or just tired taking care of him, but I haven’t seen her since they came home from the hospital.”

“Have you tried talking to her about this?”

Rose hated talking on the phone, and no one would let her out of their sight long enough for her to sneak down to Leah and Jacob’s house.

“She used to tell me everything,” said Rose, ignoring the question. “We used to sit in our room all day or night and talk for hours. Sometimes Harry or Sue would tell us to go to bed, but then Leah would climb into my bed and we would fall asleep together. I miss her.”

“When did things change?”

“When she and Sam broke up,” said Rose, as she started to play with the sleeves of the sweater Alice had given her. It was warm and soft and cozy and she hadn’t taken it off since Alice gave it to her the day before. “Sam changed her so much. He used to be so different than he is now. He used to be part of the family, he would go fishing with Harry and Billy and Charlie, and he used to play football or soccer with Seth and I out of the beach, and he would come over for dinner almost every night.”

“And this stopped when they broke up?” asked Rosalie, and Rose wondered how she would remember all of this. “Or did it stop before?”

“Before,” said Rose, looking up at Rosalie, she had a notebook propped up on her knee, a pen posed on the paper. “He started changing about two months before they broke up, and then he disappeared for two weeks. She was so worried about him and after that she didn’t want to be away from him, not even after curfew.”

“Did Leah change too then?” asked Rosalie and Rose nodded, everything had started to change after that.

“Leah just got sad, it was worst after they broke up though. She stopped singing and we stopped talking at night. She would just come home and go straight to bed without saying anything,” Rose told her, pulling her arms into her chest. “She would cry all the time and refuse to go anywhere. Then one day it just stopped, she just shut everything off and got angry. It was so weird, I thought that she would’ve gone back to normal.”

“Sometimes it doesn’t work like that,” said Rosalie and Rose nodded, she was starting to get the hollow gut wrenching feeling in her stomach that meant she was going to cry.

“I thought it would though,” whispered Rose shakily as she rubbed at her damp eyes. “But it just got worst, we started fighting. It would be over anything, clothes and food, my music and dancing, anything would set her off.”

Rose didn’t see or hear Rosalie move, but one second she was in the chair across her, the next she was sitting right next to her. Rose didn’t like to touch anyone, or have anyone touch her, but Rosalie was different.

Rosalie just sat next to her, at the most she would put a hand on her shoulder.

“Harry came to break up a fight between us, and then Leah phased for the first time,” Rose told her, this was the most she had ever told anyone about the day Harry died, at least since that day. “Seth rushed into our room when he heard me scream and it took all of us a minute to realize that Harry was leaning against the wall. Sue came up when Seth started yelling, but by then it was too late… he was gone.”

Rosalie was quiet as Rose felt herself sob, she wiped at her eyes again, but it didn’t help. She wanted someone to tell her that everything was okay, that she would be okay.

“Seth and I both held his hands as he died, and then Seth phased.”

Rosalie put a hand on Rose’s back and Rose put her face in her shoulder. She wanted more comfort than this, she needed more than this.

“I think Seth is the only one of them to change from sadness than anger,” Rose mumbled into Rosalie’s shoulder. “Not that it mattered, as our life hasn’t been the same since. It’s where all of this started.”

“All of what?” asked Rosalie, and Rose could hear the slight edge of emotion in her voice.

Rose didn’t answer, she didn’t know what to say.

~`~

Love is patience.

Years and years and years of distance, of not speaking, of quiet. It’s years of watching one another and not taking the step forward. It’s years of wanting more and doing nothing.

It’s wishing and waiting.

~`~

Rose climbed up into the truck-bed, where Brady and Collin and Seth all sat together. She sat down beside Brady, what used to be her favorite seat in the whole world, and pulled her legs in close. She ignored Seth and Collin’s eyes on her and they went back to their conversation.

“What are you doing?” whispered Brady as the truck started moving down the dirt path.

Rose was quiet as they hit a large bump and she was thrown in the air, Brady grabbed her around the waist, holding her down.

“Damn Rose be careful,” said Brady and Rose nodded.

She let him hold her as the truck kept bumping along the path. She missed how easy it was to be with Brady, they were two kids from the Makah tribe who didn’t quite belong anywhere. Brady’s mother had moved him down to La Push to be closer to her family when she found out she was sick.

Rose’s mother was planning on moving them away from the tribe also, though Rose couldn’t quite remember why. She had died the day they had planned on coming to see Brady and his mother.

Rose tucked her head into Brady’s shoulder as both Seth and Collin jumped out of the truck and ran off into the woods.

“I should go too,” Brady whispered in her ear, and Rose looked up at him.

“Can we talk later?” Rose asked him as she climbed off of his lap, and Brady smiled at her, before jumping out of the truck.

Rose laid down and stared up at the sky, where she could stars in between the tree branches and clouds. She used to love staring up at the stars, watching the sky change with shooting stars and the moon waxing and waning.

Brady had been her best friend, the closest thing she had to a brother before Seth. They had been close, almost as close as Rose and Lily.

Lily had been her twin sister, they had once been inseparable, until she died liked their mother had. She had been killed in the same car crash as their mother and Rose had known since then that tragedy would follow her. She tried not to remember her sister, or her mother, or her life before Harry had brought her back with him to La Push.

By the time the truck stopped in the clearing, they were surrounded by wolves of all shapes and sizes. Rose wasn’t supposed to be here, but Sue was working and Rose wasn’t allowed to be left alone. Jacob stood taller than everyone else in both his human and wolf forms, there was no denying that he was the Alpha.

Rose climbed out of the truck-bed and walked around to where the wolves stood all in a circle. She sat down on the ground beside Seth who was in his wolf form, as the truck door opened and closed and Kim and Hailey walked over to Jared and Embry who were both in their wolf forms.

She laid her down against Seth’s back and looked back up at the stars. Her mother had once taught her the constellations, but she and Lily always made up their own.

~`~

Love is friendship.

A shared secret, a shared past, a shared history. It was the little things and the big things, it was inside jokes and standing beside one another at funerals and weddings. It was a celebration.

It was Brady and Roslyn.

~`~

“I guess I just don’t really like school.”

“Why not?” asked Renesmee, looking up from her book to Rose behind her on the couch. Bella sat beside her and Edward sat a few feet away from them at the piano, where he had spent picking out notes and chords for the last hour or so.

“I like learning, but I don’t like crowds,” explained Rose, as she set her notebook and chemistry textbook down on the coffee table beside Renesmee’s homework. “And it’s so loud and distracting.”

“But it’s where you go to learn,” said Renesmee, as she turned her body to Rose.

“Not always,” Rose told her, it was summer, but she was so behind in her classes, that she would have to work all through the summer to catch up and graduate on time. “I’ve learned quite a bit without a teacher.”

Renesmee nodded, before looking over at her own school work. She frowned and Rose sighed as she picked up her textbook again. Seth got a job for the summer working at the diner, which meant that Rose was still spending her days with the Cullens, with even earlier mornings.

“You get the chance to go to school, but you don’t even take it,” said Renesmee with an annoyed sigh.

Rose frowned and stood up, putting her things into her backpack. She stretched out her arms and shoulders and legs, hearing a satisfied pop as she cracked her back.

“Trust me Ren,” said Rose, using the nickname she had coined for her a few weeks ago when she finally decided that she liked Renesmee. “You don’t want high school or any of the drama. It’s the only good thing that has come out of this.”

Renesmee frowned as Rose held her hand out to her. Renesmee accepted the invitation, mostly as it rarely ever came, and let Rose pull her to her feet.

Now that she was eating at the diner most nights, or with Sue and Charlie in Forks, she had started to gain some weight back. It was giving her more of energy back.

It was giving her the energy to dance again.

Renesmee was incredibly smart, she was also quite graceful, but when it came to dancing, she had two left feet. Rose knew that Bella used to be quite clumsy and Charlie was also quite bad, but she figured the half vampire-ness would help her.

“Come on, first position,” said Rose, as she stood in front of Renesmee, already bending her own legs. She had started taking ballet lessons when she was three, and she didn’t stop, even when she came to La Push. She only stopped after Harry died, but only because Sue couldn’t afford it on her own.

Renesmee reflected her as they went through each of the motions, each of the eight positions, and Rose felt herself smile as she corrected Renesmee’s stances. She had once wanted to be a ballerina, but that had changed years ago, after her mother and sister died.

“It’s so hard,” whined Renesmee, but Rose felt exhilarated, this was how it had been for the last few weeks since they had started this. “How do you do it?”

“I told you I’ve been dancing since I was three Ren,” said Rose as she sat down on the floor. “You used to be a lot more graceful from what I heard.”

“It’s the growth spurts,” said Renesmee as she sat down beside Rose. “I don’t think dancing is for me, I like drawing instead.”

Rose nodded, as Renesmee made circles in the carpet with her fingers.

“But you make it more fun than Auntie Alice,” said Renesmee, glancing up at Rose, “you’re good at explaining things.”

~`~

Love is guidance.

Kind words and slow progress. Encouragement and order. Demonstrations and explanations.

It’s a lot of hard work, a lot of early mornings and late nights, a lot of love and dedication. It’s the stuff of champions and it’s motivation for others, for yourself.

~`~

Rose sat down beside Brady on the steps of Emily and Sam’s house. Behind them inside, Baby Hannah was screaming her head off. Rose had been dropped off by Sue after her usual doctor’s visit and Brady had showed up about ten minutes after.

“Shouldn’t you be inside?” asked Brady as Rose put her head on his shoulder, he wrapped his arm around her waist automatically. It had been seven years since they had said more than just a few words to each other, and more and changed then she thought.

“You can’t babysit me?” Rose asked, ignoring his question. For the first time since she had ever known Brady, she was aware of his hand on her hip, his warm arm against her back. She was cold, having regret wearing shorts and an old tank-top of Leah’s.

“I don’t see why not,” said Brady, and Rose smiled. She pulled her legs to her chest as she felt his arm tighten around her.

The nice thing about Brady, was that they never needed to talk. They never needed words because they always knew what the other would say, at least they used too. Once upon a time ago, they knew everything about each other.

Then Brady left.

Rose stood up after a few minutes of quiet and grabbed his arm, “let’s go to the beach.”

Brady followed after her as they walked through the familiar paths through the forest and came out by the water. Rose couldn’t help but smile at the idea of almost all the pack houses being linked by footpaths.

“So you’ve been hanging out with those leaches,” said Brady, as they walked together, side by side along the sand.

“Their nice,” Rose told him, hearing the cold edge in her own voice. “They’ve been really helpful.”

Brady rolled his eyes, or at least, Rose was sure that he rolled his eyes, he walked faster than her. “I’m sure if you had asked, someone here would’ve helped you.”

Rose stopped, and it took Brady a few steps for him to realize she wasn’t with him. She had her response ready for when he turned around, but he didn’t. She could see the tension in his shoulders and was suddenly nervous about if she wanted to say what she needed too.

“Say it,” said Brady, suddenly angry.

Rose bit her lip, before she looked down at her feet. “I did, I asked for help and no one listened. No one cared about the girl who was thinking about killing herself because she hadn’t yet.”

Brady turned around, his face red and for the first time in her life, Rose was scared of him. The Brady she knew would never get angry, he never would’ve looked at her like that.

“Rose you stopped talking after Harry died and you know it!” screeched Brady, and Rose took a step backwards, before tripping over her feet and falling down into the sand. “I tried talking to you! I tried getting you back to normal! You ignored me!”

Rose stared at him, as he started pacing in front of her, screaming and yelling. He tried to pull on his hair, but it was too short and this seemed to make him more frustrated.

She tried to take a deep breath so she didn’t start crying, but it didn’t work.

“Leave her alone!” yelled a voice from behind Brady, and suddenly Rachel was helping Rose to her feet, while Paul pulled Brady into the forest.

Rose took another deep breath, but her sobs weren’t stopping. Rachel hooked an arm under hers and pulled her up, before they started heading back towards town.

“What were the two of you doing out here anyways?” asked Rachel as they started getting closer to civilization. “It’s about to start raining.”

“When is it not about to rain?” asked Rose as they walked into the little rez store. Old Quil sat behind the counter, half asleep as no one else seemed to be in the shop.

“I’ll call Sue,” said Rachel and Rose sighed, she should’ve just stayed at Emily and Sam’s house, it would’ve been easier. “You should probably go home.”

“I can get home by myself,” said Rose, putting a hand on the door. “I don’t need a babysitter.”

“You know that’s not true,” said Rachel, moving to block her path. Rose ducked under her arm and walked out the door, she started heading home. A year ago, no one would’ve been worried about her or called Sue or Seth or Leah to come get her. She would’ve been fine then, and she would be fine now.

Rachel didn’t follow after her, but the house wasn’t empty when she got home. Seth and Cali Ateara were making out on the couch, curled up in each other. Rose walked upstairs quietly and went to bed, curling up under the blankets.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

~`~

Love is complicated.

There’s nothing else to say.

~`~

Rose sat on the work bench while Rosalie worked on the jeep, Emmett laid on the ground underneath the car, working as the jack. It had been weird to her the first time, but now it was normal.

“Seth never gets angry, he just always gets sad,” said Rose, as she played with her hair. She had only started to feel the need to do something with it, keeping it clean and groomed. She was going to need a haircut sooner than later. “And it’s not the normal kind of sadness, he just folds into himself and doesn’t talk. He puts on all the fake smiles and the whole façade of being happy, but he’s never happy.”

“Why is he never happy?” asked Rosalie as she closed the lid of the jeep with a loud bang. “Tell me what happened?”

“He imprinted,” said Rose, tucking her head in between her knees. She honestly couldn’t believe that Seth had imprinted, that he was also going to move on from her.

“When?” asked Rosalie, and Rose heard her changing out of her coveralls and into her clothes.

“I don’t know, a month ago, a week, a year? It could’ve been at any time,” said Rose, as Rosalie tapped her shoulder. Rose looked up at her, unsure what emotion was on Rosalie’s face, in her eyes.

“Do you feel like you missed it? As if things are happening around you, that you can’t remember?” asked Rosalie, and Rose nodded, she would never be able to get the words out anyways. “It’s getting better now, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” said Rose, as much as she would hate to admit it, talking to Rosalie was making her feel better. It was helping her let go of all the bad feelings swimming around her head and in her heart. “But I also feel like I’ve lost the last year.”

“Depression does that, Rose,” said Rosalie, as she climbed up onto the work bench beside her. “It causes you to have a lapse in memory.”

It was the first time either of them acknowledged what she was going through. Part of her knew that she was depressed, but saying it out loud was something different.

“Rosalie,” whispered Rose, turning to look up at her. “Can you do me a favor?”

“Sure,” said Rosalie, with a large smile. “What do you need?”

“Can you take me to get my hair cut?”

~`~

Love is quiet.

Sometimes words don’t need to be passed between two people or more. Words and noises are unneeded when you know each other like the back of your hand. Sometimes nothing needs to be passed between two people.

Rose likes the quiet.

~`~

“You cut your hair,” said Brady as Rose ran her fingers through her hair. It was only a little bit longer than his hair, she liked the pixie cut look.

“I like it,” said Rose, she still felt a bit lightheaded, even a few days later. “I think it looks good.”

“It does,” said Brady, reaching a hand forward to run his hand through her hair. “You look good with the shorter hair.”

“I feel better,” said Rose, smiling up at him. Brady nodded and pulled his hand away, before he stood back, leaning against a tree. “A bit lightheaded still, but good.”

Brady smiled and opened his arms, letting Rose tuck herself into his arms. She put her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat.

“I’ve missed you,” said Brady, as he started rubbing her arms with his big warm hands. “This is the girl I used to know.”

Rose laced her fingers together behind his neck, holding him in her arms. She loved how easily the pair of them fit together, how they always had. She cuddled against his chest, was reminded of when they were younger, when they were kids. When being twelve was the only thing they struggled with.

Brady leaned down and kissed her forehead and Rose closed her eyes. She felt happy and she felt safe here, with Brady’s arms wrapped around her.

Rose lifted her head up only when she heard the sound of someone coming over to them. She looked over to see Seth walking to them.

“What do you think you’re doing?” asked Seth and Rose tucked her face back into Brady’s chest. “That’s my little sister!”

“She was mine first,” said Brady, and Rose sighed, pulling away from him. She loved Seth, but this was stepping the line, she had known Brady longer than she would ever know Seth. She was also older than him by a few weeks too. “You can back off Clearwater.”

Rose took a step away from the pair of them and back to the gathering of pack members. It was mostly the younger and un-imprinted group, most of them hadn’t graduated high school yet either. She sat down between Collin and Quil, who were both in their wolf forms and rested her head on Quil’s shoulder.

She had once dated Quil, in the very short time between him phasing and him imprinting on Claire. It had been fun, for the short while it lasted, but it had also hurt when they broke up too.

Collin put his head on her ankles and the three of them turned to watch Seth and Brady argue with one another. It was funny to her that this was how most of the pack found entertainment, watching them fight with each other.

It made her wonder how it was back when it was only three or four of them.

Both Collin and Quil whined as Seth phased, then Brady right after. Rose sat up as both Collin and Quil got up and ran to Seth and Brady’s sides. She was starting to get tired of this, of everyone fighting over her and about her.

“What’s going on now?” asked Jacob as he sat down beside Rose. Max, his and Leah’s son, was asleep against his chest. Rose felt her heart hurt as she looked at him, both of them. Max was her nephew and she had only ever held him once, months ago.

“Seth and Brady are fighting.”

“About what?”

Rose pulled her knees into her chest and stayed quiet as Brady lunged at Seth, snapping and clawing at him. Jacob sighed as Seth retaliated.

“Damn idiots,” said Jacob as he took the sling off of his chest. “I have to phase and get them set straight, you think you can take Max back home to Leah?”

Before Rose could answer, Jacob handed over Max and got back up on his feet. Rose busied herself with getting Max’s sling on her shoulders and chest, and him put back into it. He didn’t open his eyes or make a sound as Rose did this.

She walked over to where Jacob left his shoes and shorts and picked them up, putting them into her backpack before heading the way Jacob had come. She started through the forest, picking out the path that she knew led to Leah and Jacob’s house.

It only took a few minutes before Collin was beside her, his large furry body pressed against her arm. She knew that she was going in the right direction as with every wrong turn, he gently nudged her with his nose in a different direction.

Max finally opened his eyes when Rose saw the light from a familiar cottage window through the trees. He looked up at her and stayed quiet, relaxing against her chest. She rubbed his back through the sling and sighed, this would probably be the only time she would get to be with him for a while.

Collin nudged her elbow with his wet nose and she looked over at him. “I just want to hold him a little longer.”

Collin whined and pressed his nose against her arm again. Rose looked at him, then down at Max as there was a sound behind them. She knew it was Jacob or Seth and with that thought, she kept moving forward.

~`~

Love is progress.

It’s warm, it’s happiness, it’s life.

It’s the slow moving start to more, to moving forward, to becoming better.

It’s more hard work than anyone wants to put forth.

~`~

Rose curled up on the Cullens couch, she was so tired. She had spent the night with Leah and Jacob, waking up with them for every feeding and changing and cry that Max needed or made. She closed her eyes as Edward played the piano, it was something like a lullaby, soft and sweet and calming.

Renesmee laid on the floor, a sketchpad in front of her. She was humming along to the music, sounding just a sweet as the tinkling tune.

“If you’re tired,” said Rosalie from the other side of the couch, the notepad she used for their sessions in her lap. “You can sleep, no one will bother you here.”

Rose glanced at her, then around the room. She had quite a bit of homework to do before the summer was over with if she was going to go back to school. But the sun was actually out from behind the clouds and shinning down on her, making her feel warmer than usual.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw another of the Cullens come through. She rarely saw Emmett unless he was helping Rosalie out in the garage, or Alice, or Jasper, or Esme. The four of them seemed to spend most of their time somewhere else in the house, and she only saw Edward and Bella if Renesmee was around.

Otherwise it was just her and Rosalie or Dr. Cullen, though she saw more of him at the hospital.

Rose watched as Jasper sat down on the loveseat beside Bella with a rather large volume in his hands. She suddenly wanted to know what he was saying to her as he leaned over to whisper something to her, but her tiredness made it impossible.

She felt herself start to drift off as Jasper opened his book, not even noticing Renesmee doing the same.

~`~

Love is saying goodbye.

Its funerals, weddings, births. It’s well wishes and teary eyed hugs. Its soft kisses and whispers.

It’s a car crash, unexpected and life ending. It’s cancer, taking away your world slowly. It’s depression, a sadness so deep you can’t get out. It’s getting better and becoming someone new.

~`~

Rose opened her eyes.

It was dark outside, but she was still at the Cullens. The TV was flashing with commercials but she couldn’t focus on what was going on. She glanced around the room; Rosalie was still sitting at the end of the couch, but now in Emmett’s lap; Jasper sat on the loveseat, his book finished on the coffee table, staring at the TV; and Alice laid across the floor, where Renesmee had been.

“About time someone woke up,” said Emmett as Rose sat up and rubbed her eyes.

“What-“ said Rose, as she tucked her feet underneath herself. “What time is it?”

“Nearly two,” said Alice from her spot on the floor. “You slept for fourteen hours.”

Rose bit her lip and looked down, it had been months since she slept that much in one day. It was crazy for her to think that she was that tired.

“Where’s Seth then?” she asked, looking over to Rosalie. She knew how they all felt about each of the different pack members, but Seth was the one they all liked, even Rosalie.

“We haven’t heard anything,” said Rosalie, handing her a small sliver phone. “You can call if you need to.”

Rose nodded and took the phone, before standing up and walking into the kitchen, where Esme and Dr. Cullen were. “Um,” said Rose, feeling as if she interrupted a private moment between the two of them. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry,” said Esme as she laced her fingers through Dr. Cullen’s and pulled him along with her. “We were about to head out.”

Rose moved aside to let them pass, but then a thought came to her. “Dr. Cullen,” said Rose, and he turned his head to look at her. “Have you…has Sue told you anything about where she is? I haven’t seen her in a few days.”

“The last time I saw her was at the hospital, Rose,” said Dr. Cullen, but Rose could see the concern in his eyes. “Are you sure you haven’t been missing her at home?”

“Oh probably,” said Rose, and he nodded before walking into the other room.

Rose climbed up onto the counter and opened Rosalie’s phone, dialing the one number she knew by heart.

~`~

Love is forgiveness.

Two words, repeated over and over and over again. Never losing meaning and never changing, even if the actions did. It was actually quite sweet, just like how ‘I love you’ was.

I’m sorry.

~`~

Rose watched as the moon illuminated the road and trees as they passed by. The whole world was black and silver and bright headlights.

“Why hasn’t anyone come to get you Roslyn?” asked Brady, as he reached over and turned the music down. “You should’ve been home ten hours ago.”

Rose stayed quiet, no one had called her Roslyn in nearly six years. She had left her name behind when her father left her on the side of the road, when her sister and mother died.

“I don’t know,” Rose told her, as she unbuckled her seatbelt and moved over to wrap her arm through his. “I fell asleep and no one came for me, it was weird, but the Cullens just let me sleep.”

“Well at least there’s that,” said Brady as he pulled his arm free and tucked her underneath it. She smiled as she felt herself grow warm from his body heat, just like all the other guys in the pack, he never worn a shirt.

“You’re so warm,” mumbled Rose as she curled herself up against him, she didn’t want to move, didn’t want to pull away from him. She always felt at home with him, even if she didn’t quite know why.

“It’s the curse,” said Brady, with a chuckle, “I stay toasty warm for everyone.”

“At least there’s that to be proud of,” said Rose as she closed her eyes and tucked her face into his shoulder. “I miss being warm.”

“You’ve been gaining weight already,” said Brady and Rose blushed as she looked up at him. He was smiling down at her as they slowed down at the only stoplight in Forks. “It’s a good thing, Roslyn.”

Rose nodded and tucked her head back into his shoulder, just as the world turned upside down.

~`~

Love is life.

~`~

Rose stared down at the wreck, at the semi-truck with the smaller SUV wrapped around it. She felt cold as the paramedics arrived, and pulled her body out of the truck.

“Roslyn!” called a voice behind her, and Rose turned around to see Leila, Lily. It had been six years since the last time she saw her twin sister alive, breathing and with color.

“Leila,” said Rose, rushing to her sister, they looked exactly the same, even now. It was as if she aged with her, though Lily had more weight on her. It was what Rose was always supposed to look like, healthy and happy.

“I’ve missed you,” said Lily, as she pulled away, holding Rose at arms-length. “How have you been?”

Rose didn’t know how to answer, what to say at all. She loved Lily, she would never lie to her, but something wasn’t right.

“I’m not okay Lily,” whispered Rose, letting her head fall on Lily’s shoulder. They were the same height, even now. “Nothing has been okay since you and mama-“

“Don’t cry girl scout,” said an older voice, one that Rose would know anywhere. She felt a warm hand on her shoulder as she turned her head, to see Harry. “That’s not what we need here.”

Rose turned around and threw herself into Harry’s arms, holding him as the tears spilled over. “Harry,” she sobbed, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Nothing has been okay.”

“There, there,” said Harry in his soft calming voice as he rubbed her back. Rose felt Lily’s hand on her shoulder, squeezing softly.

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” whispered Rose, as she buried her face into Harry’s shoulder. “I don’t feel like me anymore.”

“Just because you’ve hit a bump in the road doesn’t mean you can’t get back on the bike,” said Harry and Rose felt herself smile despite her current emotional state. It wasn’t fair how Harry could do this, how he could make her come back to herself.

“I love you both,” said Rose, turning her head to smile at Lily. “You’ve been my family for so long, it’s not the same without you.”

“Roslyn!” screamed a voice, and all three of them looked down below them. Brady was pushing forward, pass the EMTs to the ambulance. “Roslyn, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“Rose,” said Lily, and Rose turned her head to look at her. “You have a choice right now, to stay here or go back.”

“There’s no promise to what will happen if you go back,” said Harry, putting his hands on her face, and making her look up at him. “But you’ll still have Seth and Leah and Sue.”

“And Brady by the sounds of it,” chimed in Lily, as she rested her head on Rose’s shoulder.

“I want to tell you so much,” Rose whispered, looking up at Harry. “Leah has a son, his name is Max, and Seth imprinted, though I don’t know who it is yet. They’re so happy.”

“And so are you,” said Harry, before he leaned down and kissed her forehead. Rose frowned, because they needed to know, they had to know the truth.

“No,” said Lily, as she wrapped her arms around Rose’s waist, “but you will be happier there than here.”

Rose nodded and pulled herself away from both of them. “I love you both, so much, and I miss you every day, but I’m not happy. I’m trying so hard, but I can’t bring myself to smile most days, to even get out of bed some days, to even try to live. But I’m also getting better, it’s getting easier to let you both go.”

“We will always be with you,” said Harry as he ran his hand threw her hair. “Don’t hold onto us if it’s hurting you.”

Rose nodded, before turning to Lily, already it looked as if they were fading, disappearing in front of her.

“I’ll love you forever,” said Lily, with a large smile, “I always will.”

Rose reached out a hand and Lily reached back to her, but she didn’t feel solid as she did before, she was fading into nothing. She would disappear within moments. “I love you Leila.”

Lily nodded, before she disappeared from sight.

~`~

Love is pain.

Red hot and burning, screaming and heart wrenching, fearful and loving. It was an experience that was unforgivable. Something that she would never forget, want to forget.

It was bright white and black and red, a spectrum of unworldly colors.

It was pain.

~`~

Rose opened her eyes, she was surrounded by white, crisp and clean. It was unnatural, but familiar. It felt homely and Rose hated that it was familiar.

“Finally,” said a voice from the seat beside her, and Rose turned her head to see Leah with Max in her arms.

“Hey,” said Rose weakly, trying to sit up. She couldn’t get the momentum as one of her legs was propped up in a sling.

Leah frowned and Rose laid back into her bed. “Rose, you could’ve died. What were you doing with Brady?”

“No one came to get me,” said Rose, staring up at Leah, “so I called him and asked him to come get me.”

“You should’ve just gone to Charlie’s, or called me,” said Leah, as Max started to fuss in her arms. “I would’ve come to get you, you wouldn’t be here.”

Rose closed her eyes as Max started crying, she was tired of hearing his cries, she honestly couldn’t imagine how Leah felt. “Take care of him, I’m fine.”

“The last time I trusted you alone, we ended up back here,” said Leah, and Rose felt tears prickle at her eyes. “I’m not leaving you by yourself again Rose. I can’t lose you too.”

“You will if you don’t let me live my life,” said Rose, as Max finally quieted down. Rose opened her eyes to see Leah nursing him, it was still so strange to her to see Leah so domestic.

It had been a weird two years.

Both of them looked away from Max at the sound of the door opening, and Rose tried to sit up again as Dr. Cullen walked over to her bedside. “How are you feeling Rose? I’m happy to see you’re awake.”

“I’m fine,” said Rose as Dr. Cullen flipped through the clipboard at the end of her bed. She knew that most of it was for show, she had seen how quickly Jasper and Bella could read, she knew he was just as fast.

“You’re right knee is shattered and your right fibula is also broken, but it’s a clean break, should heal quickly,” explained Dr. Cullen as he handed Rose the remote to adjust her bed. “We’ll keep you for the night, but then we’ll get you out of here. I’ll have a prescription for some light dose pain meds for when you get out, but in the meantime we’ll try to keep you off anything too strong.”

Rose nodded as she pressed the button on the remote to sit herself upright. She felt better as she sat up and looked to Dr. Cullen.

“Thank you,” said Rose, with a small smile and Dr. Cullen smiled as he left the room.

“I don’t like how comfortable you are with them,” said Leah and Rose rolled her eyes, Leah didn’t understand. Leah hated the Cullens too much to ever understand how much they were helping her.

“You don’t have to be,” said Rose, looking at her sister. “I’m not asking you to be close to them or to even like them, I’ll only ask you to please be respectful to Dr. Cullen.”

Leah nodded and then sat back in her chair, she looked exhausted. Max was so much work, even for Leah and Jacob together.

“Take him for me?” asked Leah as she held out Max, and Rose held him close to her chest. He was so warm and soft, Rose couldn’t help but love him, want him.

Rose shuffled over enough to allow Leah to come lay with her, the pair of them cuddling like they used too. Rose missed when their relationship was easier, when they could tell each other everything.

“Jacob wants to have another baby already,” whispered Leah as Rose put her head on her shoulder. “I don’t know if I’m ready for that quite yet.”

“Do you want another baby?” asked Rose as she held Max against her chest. She held his head against her chest, his hair was soft and wispy, and his head heavy in her hand.

“I do, I want to have a daughter, but I don’t know if we’re ready yet,” said Leah as she twisted the ring on her left hand. “Max is still so little, and we’re so tired.”

Rose nodded and closed her eyes again as Leah wrapped her arm around her shoulders. She felt young again, back when Leah was her sister, her best friend, not her enemy.

“I still remember when dad I picked you up from the side of the road, you weren’t much smaller than you are now,” said Leah, as she rubbed Rose’s hair. “I thought that you were just playing out in the street, but he insisted that something was wrong. He always knew when something was wrong, it’s what I miss most about him.”

“I miss all the little things that he used to say, used to call us,” Rose told her, as she remembered. “Girl scout and little bean and all the other weird little things.”

“I think it was just the first thing he could come up with, or the first thing he saw around him,” said Leah and Rose nodded. “Though I also miss always having cats around, and all the dogs.”

“Always a dog,” said Rose as Max made a sound against her chest, something between a snort and a snore.

Rose opened her eyes just enough to glance down at her nephew, who was still sleeping peacefully against her chest.

“Every day gets easier though,” whispered Leah, and Rose nodded, closing her eyes again.

~`~

Love is a new beginning.

It’s a start to something new, something special. A new friendship, a new relationship, a new family, made or chosen. The Clearwater’s were her chosen family, while her mother and sister and Brady were the family she was born into.

They were home.

~`~

Rose opened the door to the jeep and swung her legs over the edge, she then waited for Cali to walk around and help her out. Cali helped her get down from the jeep’s front seat and handed her the crutches she was forced to use. Though Rose did have to admit that it was better than the wheelchair.

“Are you sure we can just go in?” asked Cali as Rose opened the front door and pushed forward.

“Everyone is used to me by now,” Rose told her, as she walked over to the couch and sat down, putting her crutches down on the floor. Cali awkwardly set the baby car seat down on the floor, along with her diaper bag.

Rose watched as Cali carefully picked up her son Chris, and held him in her arms. Chris was a very sweet baby, he never seemed to cry and he loved to be cuddled.

“Rose!” called Renesmee, running in through the kitchen. “You’re alive.”

Rose sat back while Renesmee climbed up onto the couch with her and tucked herself into her side. She felt Cali eye her as Renesmee curled up into her side, without thinking, Rose patted Renesmee’s back.

“I missed you too,” said Rose as she put her leg up on the coffee table. “You can draw on my cast if you want.”

Renesmee smiled as she ran off to another room and returned with a sleeve of markers. Rose smiled as Renesmee sat down on the floor by her cast and got to work.

“Are you going to talk to Brady?” asked Cali as she passed over Chris to Rose’s waiting arms. She had spent a good portion of the night before cuddling with Max while Leah and Jacob had her over.

She was more being babysat because she had limited mobility than because she was suicidal. Rosalie had put an end to it, that and the talk Rose and Leah had while Rose was in the hospital.

Rosalie had sent the hospital all of the conversations and progress that she had made over the few months.

“I was wondering when you would get here,” said Rosalie as she stood behind the couch. “I thought that you forgot about us.”

“I got into a car accident,” Rose told her as she patted the seat in between herself and Cali. Rosalie smiled and came around to sit beside her. “And I couldn’t get a ride out here for the last week.”

Rosalie nodded, then smiled as Chris made a noise against Rose’s chest. “Oh, he’s beautiful,” she said, as she smiled at Chris.

“His name is Christopher,” said Cali, and Rose could hear the nervousness in her voice. “He’s almost four months old.”

Rosalie turned her head to look at Cali, then gave her a warm smile. “Is he your nephew or brother?”

Cali looked down at her hands before answering, “Chris is my son.”

Rosalie looked from Chris to Cali then to Rose, “he’s a beautiful baby, what’s wrong about him?”

“I’m only seventeen,” said Cali, pulling her legs into her chest. “I have a baby, and who knows what is going to happen next.”

“You have Seth,” said Rose, as she passed Chris over to Rosalie who took him happily. “And I think he loves Chris more than Max, which I feel is saying something.”

Cali nodded, but watched as Rosalie held Chris carefully in her arms. Already Rose could tell that Rosalie would fight anyone who tried to harm him. Rose rested her head against Rosalie’s shoulder as Chris slept on.

“Cali,” said Rose, and Cali looked up at her. “Don’t worry about what everyone else will say or think, Chris will grow up loved and with plenty of people watching over him.”

Cali nodded and reached out a hand to rub Chris’ back, while Chris started snoring. “Thank you, Rose.”

~`~

Love is waking up warm.

It’s being wrapped up in his arms, it’s being kissed on the forehead, and it’s legs tangled under the covers. It’s sunlight streaming in through the window, making everything warm and comfy. It’s falling over and over and over again for the person you love.

It’s Brady.

~`~

Rose sat up as the front door opened and closed, and Brady walked into the living room. He set down a large box of donuts and handed her a covered cup.

“Thank you,” said Rose as Brady sat down beside her, holding the box of donuts out to her. She grabbed a chocolate one with sprinkles and took a large bite before taking a sip from her cup.

“I knew you would go for the chocolate,” said Brady as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Rose tucked her head into his shoulder and took another bite of her donut.

“I love you Brady,” Rose whispered once her donut was gone and her hot chocolate had gone cold. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his face down to hers.

It had been a long time coming, this moment between them. Rose loved him, she had always loved him, and she always would. It had just taken them both years longer than they needed to get to this point.

Brady was warm and soft and perfect, his arms wrapped around her and held her close. Rose closed her eyes and ran her hands up into his hair.

“Finally,” mumbled Brady when they both pulled away. Rose cupped his cheek in her hand and pulled him close again.

They only broke apart again when Seth came home, looking tired and angry. “Get off of her Fuller!” yelled Seth, as he grabbed Brady’s shoulder and pulled him off of her.

“Seth,” said Rose calmly, as Brady sat back up on the couch. “Please don’t do this, I’m in love with Brady, have been since I was three.”

Seth’s face fell and he threw himself down into the armchair across from them. “You’re only seventeen, Rose, how did this happen?”

Rose rolled her eyes before answering, “we’re the same age Seth.”

Seth sighed and looked down at his hands. “I know, but sometimes it still feels like you’re tiptoeing around the house looking for the bathroom.”

“Trust me on this one, Seth,” Rose told him with a large smile. “You don’t have to trust him, just me.”

“I’d preferred it if you trusted me,” said Brady as Rose reached over and took his hand in one of her own. It was going to be a long journey, one that she had started months ago, and that Brady was going to help her finish.

“Thin ice Fuller,” said Seth, but he was matching Rose’s smile and he winked at Rose as he reached for the TV remote.

~`~

Love is trust.

Its small steps in the right direction, it’s holding his hand while learning to walk, it’s an extension of one’s self. It’s kissing him over and over and over again in every doorway they can find.

It’s also letting herself fall and having him help her get up.

~`~

“You’re leaving?” asked Rose as she sat on the work bench of the garage. Rosalie had her face under the BMW’s hood with Emmett holding it up for her. “When?”

“Next week,” said Rosalie as she looked up at Rose, she stepped away from the BMW and came to sit beside Rose. “Don’t worry, we’ll stay in contact, come and visit.”

Rose frowned, and looked down at her cast, it was covered in pictures from Renesmee and Claire and even Cali. Everyone in the pack had signed it, and everyone in La Push had come by to sign it also.

Even the Cullens had all signed her cast.

“You’re going to make me use the phone aren’t you?” asked Rose as Rosalie brushed her hand through her hair. “Kill me now.”

Rosalie smiled and wrapped her arm around Rose’s shoulders. “I want to say that I’m very happy that you have grown so much in the last few months, but joking about your death will probably make everyone else uncomfortable.”

Emmett laughed from under the BMW and Rose smiled as she tucked her head onto Rosalie’s shoulder. “I think I’m ready to talk about Lily though,” whispered Rose and Emmett took this as his cue to leave.

“Alright,” said Rosalie, turning to Rose. “Tell me everything.”

Rosalie went back to her car and Rose started talking. It was easier to talk about Lily now than ever before, maybe it was because for the first time since Lily died that she felt able to open up.

She was finally starting to feel like herself again.

“Then she was gone,” said Rose, as Rosalie closed the hood to the BMW. She was covered in motor oil and her hair had started to fall out of it’s braid. “It was just so sudden.”

“That’s what happens sometimes during car crashes,” said Rosalie, as she walked over to the hidden handwashing station in the corner. “You can ask Carlisle, he’s been taking care of people in them since they were invented.”

“Do you sometimes hear what you say and know that you sound crazy?” asked Rose as Rosalie walked back over to her and helped Rose down off the work bench.

“Yes,” said Rosalie, with a grin. “How has your friend been? Cali right?”

“I’m sure you already know,” said Rose as the pair of them headed back to the main house. “But her burns are starting to heal, she’ll have light scaring and I think Seth loves her even more now.”

“The wolves are so weird,” mumbled Rosalie as they walked in through the kitchen. “But at least she’ll be okay.”

“I don’t think anyone has talked to Collin since he pushed her in,” said Rose, as they walked into the living room. “Not even Brady.”

“Serves him right,” said Rosalie as Rose sat down on her spot on the couch. “I’m going to go shower, stay here.”

“I can’t really move that much,” Rose told her as she spread out on the couch. “But I was also going to say that I don’t think Collin deserves the third degree. He apologized to her and Cali accepted it, even told him that he shouldn’t feel too bad about it.”

Rosalie nodded, then she disappeared upstairs to her bedroom. Rose sighed to herself and grabbed her backpack, sorting through the books and notepads in there. She couldn’t believe that the Cullens were leaving, that Rosalie would be leaving her on her own.

But Rose was sure that she would be fine, even without them.

~`~

Love is moving forward.

Saying goodbye, graduating high school, getting married.

Having children, a baby to hold and call their own.

It’s better than before.

~`~

Rose smiled up at Brady as he handed her a cup of decaffeinated tea, she took a sip as he sat down beside her. He put a warm hand on her knee and she leaned into his side.

“They’re late,” said Brady as he checked his phone.

“They’ll be here,” countered Rose, as she always did. Brady moved his hand up her leg and she grabbed it, entwining their fingers together. “They always come.”

Rose looked up at him and Brady leaned down, kissing her softly. They broke apart only when Emmett made the chair in front of them scrape along the floor.

“PDA is not appropriate,” said Emmett with a loud laugh, and Rose rolled her eyes as she reached across the table to grab Rosalie’s hand. “Trust us, we get told that about ten times a day.”

“We’re married Emmett,” Rose told him, as she pressed a hand to her stomach, “expecting too.”

Rosalie smiled and Rose felt her heart flutter, she had been so excited to tell Rosalie. She was going to be a part of her children’s life, even if it would cause them to phase. Rosalie was her best friend, her confidant, her sister in another life.

Rosalie was like Lily, stubborn and unyielding, smart and beautiful, graceful and kind, but she was also mean to a world that hurt her, changed her. She would kill for the family she made and chose and created.

“Do you have a name?” asked Rosalie, looking from Rose to Brady, a big smile on her face.

“Harry for a boy,” said Rose, as she pulled her hands back and rubbed her baby bump. “And Lillian for a girl.”

“Lovely,” said Rosalie, before they dived in farther. This was how all of these meetings went, sometimes it would be just Rosalie and Rose, sometimes Brady and Emmett would come, and sometimes Rose would bring Cali or Seth, and Rosalie would bring Renesmee.

Rose knew that the next time she saw Rosalie she would be bringing another person with her, small and adorable, and all her and Brady. She was ready for the mess and the adventure, especially as Brady would be by her side.

“We’re making Seth’s room into the nursery,” Rose told her, as she pulled out the paint swatches that she had been carrying around. “He’s been whining about it since I told him he needed to clear out his things.”

“I’m still amazed that you got the house,” said Rosalie as she examined each of the color choices in front of her.

“Leah has her own place, Seth and Cali moved in together and have been together pretty much since the summer before Senior year,” explained Rose as Rosalie handed her back the paint swatches. “So when Sue moved in with Charlie officially, I got the house.”

“Lucky you then,” said Rosalie, as Rose took a sip of her tea. “And I like the third blue from the top.”

Rose nodded, it was her favorite too.

~`~

Love is letting go.

It’s watching your children grow and move on, it’s kissing away cuts and bruises and scrapes, it’s scaring away the monsters. It’s also watching them fall in love, watching them create a life of their own without you, it’s saying goodbye.

Love is Harry, it’s Hayden and Harley, it’s the twins Lily and Rosalie, it’s Ava, and it’s Henry.

Love is her children.

Love is Brady.

~`~

“ _I have been searching for your touch, unlike any touch I've ever known, and I never thought about you much, till I'm broken down and all alone_ ,” sang Rose as she stared out the kitchen window. Brady and several of their children were all outside, playing with one of the dogs that he had brought home for them to foster. “ _No I don't understand the meaning of love, I do not mind if I die trying, oh_.”

She turned up the radio as her youngest daughter Ava walked into the kitchen and grabbed at the hem of her yoga pants. Ava would pull them down if she had the chance, something that Rose had learned while at the store the other day.

“ _Took you for granted, when you lifted me up, I'm asking for your help, I am going through hell, afraid nothing can save me, but the sound of your voice_ ,” sang Rose as she picked up Ava and kissed her forehead. She swayed along to the music, dancing with Ava in her arms. “ _You cut out all the noise, and now that I can see mistakes so clearly, now_.”  
  


“ _I'd kill if I could take you back, but how? But how? I can feel it in my guts, what's going on with him now, don't patronize me with lies, I'ma man, be a woman now_ ,” Rose whispered into Ava’s ear, causing her to howl with laughter. Rose honestly loved having a three year old. As much work Ava was, she was a breeze compared to her older sisters. “ _I have been bound by the shackles of love, and I don't mind if I die tied up, took you for granted, when you lifted me up_.”

“Are you listening to this silly song again?” asked Brady as he walked in the kitchen door. He took Ava from Rose’s arms and Rose wrapped her arms around his neck.

“You love this song,” Rose told him, knowing that he only liked it because she did. It was her current favorite, and the radio was playing it all the time. Which Rose knew was his distaste for it.

“Says you,” said Brady as he kissed her forehead, before taking a step away. “Ava how has Mr. Whiskers been?”

Rose smiled at the pair of them, Ava was named after his mother, and he adored her. Ava was also quite the fan of Brady, especially when he brought her home cats to play with.

“Mom, I’m going over to Terra’s,” said Harry as he walked through the kitchen. Harry was her oldest, and she adored him. He looked just like Brady, tall and lanky and adorable, even at thirteen.

“Call if you’re staying there for dinner,” Rose told him, as she kissed his cheek and ran her hands through his hair.

“Yes mom,” said Harry quietly, as he walked out of her reach. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Rose called after him as he ran out the door.

Rose turned back to the window to watch her other children play with the dog. They would all come back in wet and hungry and tired, just as they always did, and she would be ready for them as she always was.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Terra and the life they grow and live together.

Harry Bradley Fuller sat down at the end of his best friend and girlfriend’s, Terra Call, bed. He ran a hand through his newly shaved head, and sighed as Terra came out of the closet she shared with her adoptive sister Lacsey.

“Green or blue?” asked Terra, holding up two different pairs of leggings.

“Don’t you have anything less colorful?” asked Harry, as Terra put her green leggings away.

“No,” said Terra as she came back out of her closet, now in her blue leggings. “Also I’m not the one who isn’t wearing a shirt right now.”

Harry nodded, giving her the props that she deserved. “You weren’t wearing pants about a minute ago,” he told her as she sat down on his lap, Harry smiled as she kissed him softly.

Terra pulled away first, just as Harry’s hand had started moving up the back of her shirt. He was so thankful that he had imprinted on her, he couldn’t imagine anyone else in his life.

They had started dating about a year ago, and when he phased, the only thing he could honestly think about was her. He had ran all the way over to her house the second he had calmed down enough to phase back into himself again.

“We should go,” said Terra, but Harry didn’t move to let her go, or to get up himself.

“Don’t want to.”

Terra grinned and Harry kissed her again. She tucked her head under his chin when she pulled away again. After another moment, she stood up and grabbed his hands, pulling him up with her.

“Come on, your mom will kill us,” said Terra and Harry followed after her, picking up his shirt as he followed after her. When they started dating, Terra’s father Embry, had pulled him aside and had given him a few guidelines to dating Terra, the same rules that his own father had given him. Terra had also gotten the same lecture, something that he was happy about as it at least evened the playing field.

“Mom will live if her oldest son doesn’t come to a dance recital, Tea,” Harry told her as they walked out of her house and down the road to his own house.

“What about her favorite dancer?” asked Terra as she looped her arm through his, “the whole show would be ruined without me, H?”

“Tea,” said Harry, with a smile, “you’re not even dancing today, we’re only going for moral support for Ava.”

“Your favorite sister,” said Terra, smiling up at him. Harry felt his heart melt with her smile, even before the imprint, Terra could give him butterflies and make him swoon. He knew that it was all ridiculous, but he loved Terra, he loved her long before everything in his life was complicated.

“She’s something, that’s for sure,” said Harry, as he moved to wrap his arm around her waist, pulling her in closer.

“She’s better than the twins,” said Terra and Harry couldn’t argue that one. The twins were a menace, and that was just the tip of the iceberg.

~`~

Love is learning.

It’s figuring out all the little quirks, all of the little ticks, all of the little things that change and come through when you meet someone. It’s all of the little things and all of the big things. It’s all of the little things that become big things.

It’s Terra and Harry.

~`~

Harry fell face first onto his bed, exhausted from a long night of patrols. He wasn’t one of the youngest in the pack, his brother Harley actual was, but he wasn’t the oldest either. Max Black was the alpha with his younger brother Marcus his second and his other cousin James Lahote his third. James and Max were the same age, along with James’ twin sister Jessica who wasn’t a wolf and Hannah Uley who was a wolf, and Chris Clearwater, who was also a wolf.

The pack dynamic was a bit weird currently, on top of everything. Mainly as Hannah and Chris hated each other, but had imprinted on each other. Harry had spent the whole night between the two of them bickering and fighting with one another, before complimenting and flirting with each other. It was an uncomfortable emotional whiplash.

It was his usual Thursday night.

“You know that you have to get up for school,” said Hayden as Harry’s alarm clock went off. Harry reached over and smacked the top, stopping it from going off.

“Tell mom that I’m dead and will get up in ten minutes,” mumbled Harry, as Hayden went to their shared closet.

After about fifteen minutes, Harry climbed out of bed, got dressed, and went downstairs. He took a few breakfast sandwiches from a plate on the dining table and wrapped them up in a napkin before kissing his mother’s cheek and heading out.

He got the old station wagon, it was only supposed to fit six, but Harry was the oldest of seven, the car hadn’t had less than seven in it since the twins were born.

“Henry, Ava, are you strapped in?” asked Harry as he climbed into the driver’s seat.

“Yes,” said Ava, and Harry smiled as he back up out of the driveway. He took a bite of one of his sandwiches before he pulled up in front of the Call’s house.

Terra and Carli climbed into the passenger seat, Carli in between the pair of them where the center consul folded up into a seat. Lacsey climbed into the back between the twins and Ava and Henry. Harley and Hayden were in the very back, stuffed into the lone seat together.

It was their normal morning drive to school.

The twins, Lily and Ros, along with Harley and Carli all got out at the middle school. Then Ava and Henry got out at the elementary school, Harry stayed parked out front until they were safely inside.

It was his job as the oldest sibling and as the one in charge of carpool to make sure everyone got to school on time and safely.

Hayden always left the pair of them to spend a few minutes alone before school started. Terra moved over into Carli’s seat and rested her head on his shoulder, taking one of his sandwiches and taking a bite.

“I have been so hungry lately,” said Terra as she put a hand on her stomach. “I think your mom is trying to tire me out.”

“You went running this morning,” said Harry, thinking back to how he had watched her run across the beach early that morning. Her scent had been the only thing keeping him awake before he had ran home.

He had finally had the chance to annoy Hannah and Chris for the first time during patrols. Just the thought of Terra had made the pair of them groan and whine and tell him to fuck off.

“I thought I could feel someone watching me.”

Harry smiled and leaned down, kissing her softly. He loved Terra, long before the whole imprint thing happened, long before they even started dating, even farther back than he could remember. Terra was his happily ever after.

“I like watching you run,” Harry whispered as his lips moved to her neck, “it keeps me going after patrols with the lovebirds.”

“Why are all of you so mean to Chris and Hannah?” asked Terra, pulling away from him. Harry wrapped his arms around her waist, he honestly loved Chris and Hannah, they were family as much as Hayden or Ava or Lily and Ros were.

“Because every Thursday night I had to listen to the pair of them bicker and flirt with each other until patrols are over,” Harry told her, and Terra cuddled back into his side.

“I guess that makes sense,” said Terra, and Harry knew that he was forgotten. “Let’s get going to class though, I don’t want to be late.”

Harry sighed and climbed out of the driver’s side down before walking around and opening the passenger door for Terra. He laced his fingers through hers as they walked up to the school and they went to their lockers.

Harry kissed her forehead when they finally went to their separate homerooms. She stepped away and Harry felt his heart flutter when she turned back to smile at him before walking into her homeroom classroom.

~`~

Love is family.

The oldest of seven, three younger brothers and three younger sisters. He loves them all, even when the twins drive him crazy and he can’t get away from Hayden or Harley, even on patrols. He loves his parents for having all of them, he knows how hard it was for his mother to open up to his father.

She’s the oldest of three, two sisters. One adopted, one younger. She loves them like breathing, one is her other half, even though they were brought together later in life. The other she protects like breathing, the fiercest older sister in all of La Push.

Family brought them together, brought them closer and kept them close.

Family is love.

~`~

“I’m pregnant.”

Harry sat up and turned to look down at her. Terra stared up at him, her light blue eyes, her mother’s eyes, staring back up at him. He had fallen in love with her eyes first, fallen for them the second he saw them.

He wanted to ask her all of the questions, the first being ‘how’, and the second being ‘when’.

“I know,” she whispered, and her face broke.

This was unexpected, but Harry knew exactly what to do, what to say, what he wanted. It was all ridiculous, they were ridiculous, they should’ve been safer, should’ve done something different. They should’ve been more responsible.

They could’ve waited.

“It’s your choice,” he told her as he rubbed her back and held her close. They were suddenly not an epic love story like his parents, like her parents, they were suddenly two kids who made a mistake. They were two kids who were about to have one of their own.

“Cali had a baby at sixteen,” whispered Terra when she finally calmed down. She was still hiccup-y and weepy, but he could actually understand her now. “Chris is fine.”

“She had support from her parents though,” said Harry, as he pressed his nose against her neck. “Your dad will kill me, my mother will kill me.”

“My mother will kill me,” muttered Terra and Harry pressed his forehead against hers. Terra closed her eyes and Harry kissed her, they had been having sex with each other for the last two years, how did they finally get pregnant.

Harry put his hands up into her hair, pulling her closer. He was suddenly thankful that her family was frequently gone, Lacsey at therapy, Carli at cross country, and both of her parents at work. His house was never empty, his father had turned the garage into a dance studio for his mother, where she taught classes all day from the comfort of their home.

He never got time to himself at home, never got it when he phased, never got it unless he climbed on top of the roof, away from everyone.

“I think we should keep it,” whispered Terra once they were done. Her hair was wild over her pillow and he was panting as he pulled her close into his arms again.

“The baby?” asked Harry as there was a noise downstairs. “Someone’s here.”

They got into motion, the pair of them climbing out of her bed and getting dressed as quickly as possible. Harry had just pulled his shorts back on while Terra got her shirt on when the door burst open and Lacsey and Marcus came in.

“Oh,” said Lacsey and Harry watched as Marcus wrinkled his nose.

Lacsey walked over and opened the bedroom window, while Terra looped her arm through Harry’s. She started to pull him towards the open door while Marcus complained about it being warm.

Harry wanted to point out that they were all the same age, all in the same boat right now.

Well, Harry and Terra were having a baby and Marcus had imprinted on Lacsey but was afraid to tell her. They were the same, but nothing in any of their lives would be different.

It was decided, but they slipped out the backdoor and walked down the footpath that they had made over years of running back and forth to each other’s houses. A path worn down and thinned over years of secret meetings and moonlit kisses.

Terra stopped at their meeting point, right in the very middle of their houses. It was far enough away that they could see the houses, but no one could see them, not even from the road.

“I was serious about what I said,” said Terra as she held his hand in both of hers. His hands were so much bigger than hers, not that he minded too much.

“I know,” said Harry, leaning down to rest his chin on top of her head and pull her into his arms. He needed her close to him, needed her to be okay.

“I just don’t know how any of this is going to work,” whispered Terra as she pressed her face into his chest, muffling her voice. “I don’t know what to do, or who to tell other than you.”

“We should probably go to the clinic or the hospital,” said Harry, as Terra pulled away from her. She pushed her dark curly hair behind her shoulder and looked up at him.

“I don’t know,” she said and Harry nodded.

“Then we’ll figure something out, I swear,” promised Harry, as he pulled her close again.

~`~

Love is communication.

Words spoken, written, and shared in a look across a room. It’s words passed back and forth, quiet and loud, passed between two people. It’s all a push and pull.

Words were never hard, though they sometimes strangle them. They hurt and they heal and they cause them to fall apart. They are a process, an act in more ways than one, a shared memory between two people.

Communication only stops when one stops sharing, stops giving, stops pushing.

They stop when the other doesn’t pull anymore.

~`~

“YOU’RE PREGNANT??” screamed Rose as she paced in front of Harry and Terra and the rest of their parents. Harry had seen this coming, seen this reaction from his mother coming to bite him later.

His father was silent while his mother paced, Henry was holding onto her hand, getting dragged along with her pacing. Terra’s mother was fuming, on the verge to screaming, but her father was glaring daggers into Harry.

Harry was sure his father was going to start crying, or join his mother in the yelling.

“It was a mistake,” whispered Terra, looking down at their joined hands. “I made a mistake Mrs. Fuller.”

Terra had never once ever called his mother, Mrs. Fuller and now she was on the verge to start crying. She was close to falling apart and Harry knew that it wasn’t going to end well if she lost her voice.

“This is not just your fault, Terra,” said Embry and Harry wrapped his arm around Terra’s shoulders, pulling her close to him. “We should’ve never left the two of you at home together, especially after he imprinted on you.”

“The two of you were alone together?” asked Brady, speaking for the first time since they shared the news. “Harry you know the rules.”

“It wasn’t in the house,” said Harry, at least it wasn’t in their house.

“It doesn’t matter,” said Hailey, as she crossed her arms. “What matters is that Terra’s having a baby.”

Harry put his head on her shoulder and closed his eyes, this was never going to end, and they were going to be stuck in this never ending hell forever.

“I’m sixteen weeks,” said Terra, cutting off her father as he said something about them to the others. “I’m due in June, that’s what they told me at the hospital.”

Finding out that they were so far along, and would be having a child so quickly scared them into telling their parents. Terra needed her parents support, her mother’s support, and Harry wanted his mother on his side.

“Oh Terra,” said Rose, stopping dead in her tracks and sharing a look with Hailey. “Sweetheart I’m so sorry, this must be driving you crazy.”

Terra broke down and it was as if everything came crashing down around them. Harry rubbed her back as she cried and suddenly the only noise was their mixed sobs, both of them falling into the other for comfort.

~`~

Love is the curve of her stomach.

Harry likes to watch her grow, watch her change. It was so strange to see and feel little feet and hands and press against the skin of her stomach. Their child is growing and getting large with each passing day, week, month. It’s amazing to see and to feel and to experience.

He loves every part of it.

~`~

Harry sighed as he climbed into Terra’s bed, she was reading out loud from the book they were assigned to read for their English class. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her stomach in both of his hands. They still had about eight weeks until her due date, until their child was born.

“Take a nap,” whispered Terra, as she ran her fingers through his short, short hair. “I can fill you in on this chapter later.”

“I like the name Nathan,” said Harry, as he rubbed her stomach. The baby kicked against his hand, and he smiled.

“And I like the name Adam,” said Terra, as she moved her hand down his neck and shoulders. Harry cuddled in closer to her, moving his hands to circle around her waist.

“Should we rock, paper, scissors for it?” asked Harry with a smile, as he looked up at her sleepily. “Or should we talk about girl names?”

“I think,” said Terra as she put her bookmark into her book and set it down on the bedside table on her other side. “That I’m tried and we should take a nap before I pass out and you lose against me like you always do.”

Harry helped Terra get comfortable against his chest and watched as she drifted off. He pressed his own ear against her stomach and thought about how this was all going to work. He had no clue where they would live or what they were going to do when their baby was born.

He kissed Terra’s stomach and closed his eyes, feeling himself drift off.

~`~

Love is doing the things you don’t want to do.

It’s going shopping with your girlfriend, it’s getting lectured by your parents, it’s going to doctor appointments. It’s making phone calls, it’s doing homework, it’s turning the attic over the dance studio into an apartment.

It’s lunch with Aunt Rosalie.

~`~

Harry helped Terra lower herself into a seat before he sat down beside her. He reached over and kissed her cheek while his mother corralled Henry and Ava into their seats.

“She’s late,” said Harry, taking his father’s place whenever he wasn’t there. “She’s always late.”

Terra giggled and Harry smiled, just as his mother said her line right on schedule, “she’ll be here soon.”

Soon was five minutes later, and Harry felt every single hair on his body stand up straight in the air as they walked in. Aunt Rosalie and Uncle Emmett weren’t his actual aunt and uncle, in fact, they weren’t related in any way. Aunt Rosalie was a friend of his mother’s, who had helped her quite a bit before her parents had started dating.

His mother loved Aunt Rosalie enough to name one of his younger sister’s after her.

“Auntie Rose!” said Ava, climbing out of her seat to run forward and hug the blonde vampire. Harry held onto the table to keep himself from phasing, hating the part of him that wanted to destroy his mom’s best friend.

“Ava you’re so big now,” said Aunt Rosalie as she picked up Ava and hugged her against her chest. Harry felt Terra put a hand on his knee and he relaxed slightly as he put his hand over hers.

This was going to be a long afternoon, on top of a long morning at Terra’s doctor’s office. She was getting closer and closer to her due date and Harry was getting more anxious with each passing day.

Harry kept quiet as his mom talked to Aunt Rosalie and Henry made his way onto Uncle Emmett’s lap. The whole interaction made his skin crawl and he was happy that Terra at least didn’t want any part of Aunt Rosalie or Uncle Emmett.

“So Terra,” said Aunt Rosalie, turning to the pair of them, and Harry felt goosebumps cover his skin again. “When are you due? And are you excited?”

“June twenty-fifth,” said Terra, as she squeezed Harry’s knee. “And we are excited, and quite a bit nervous.”

Harry wanted to be anywhere except for right here. He wanted to just take Terra and leave, get as far away from Rosalie and Emmett as possible. They had to understand how much this was hurting him, he grew up with Aunt Rosalie as a constant presence in his life. Rose called her at least once a week and Aunt Rosalie came at least twice a year for a visit. She sent them gifts for Christmas and birthdays and every other big event in his and his sibling’s lives.

But ever since he phased, his younger brothers phased, being around her or any of her family, even Renesmee, was difficult. His mouth and nose burned from their scent, and every instinct wanted to destroy them.

“I’m sorry,” said Harry, as he looked at Aunt Rosalie and Uncle Emmett, “but I need some fresh air.”

He walked out of the coffee shop his mom always met Aunt Rosalie at and sat down on a bench just down the street. He felt his brain clear and his heartbeat go back to normal, he felt himself calm down and was reminded by how unfair all of this was.

He never wanted to be a wolf, he never believed in the stories like some of his friends did, he just wanted to grow old with Terra.

“Are you okay now?” asked Terra as she put her hands on his shoulders. “Or are you going to run home?”

“I can’t just leave mom,” Harry told her as she walked around the bench and sat down in his lap. She put his hands on her stomach, where the baby was kicking and leaned into his chest. “Was everyone upset?”

“No, they understand,” said Terra, as Harry rubbed small circles into her stomach. “You lasted longer than I thought.”

“It was longer than I thought too,” said Harry, as put his face into the crook of her neck, and placed a kiss on her shoulder. “I’ll apologize the next time mom calls Aunt Rosalie.”

“I think it’s the thought that counts,” said Terra, and Harry nodded against her neck. “I’m sure that they understand.”

~`~

Love is doing the heavy lifting.

Packing and unpacking, moving boxes, assembling furniture. It’s putting together the crib, putting in a bed, putting everything together. It’s painting the room, it’s sweeping and mopping the floors, it’s everything that needs to be done.

It’s bringing Terra up to their new temporary home and getting her comfortable before they had their baby.

~`~

“Harry!” called Terra from the bathroom and Harry jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom. Terra was sitting in the bathtub, her stomach poking out of the water, Harry went right to her side.

“Are you okay?” he asked her as he kneeled in front of the bathtub.

“Aria,” said Terra, putting her hands on her stomach. “We should name the baby Aria.”

Harry sat down on the floor in front of her and shook his head, every time they finally decided on a possible name, one of them decided on something different.

“Aria,” said Harry softly as the baby kicked Terra’s stomach, “I like it.”

Terra smiled and rubbed her stomach, “it came to me a few minutes ago, and now I can’t get it out of my head. Aria Elizabeth Fuller.”

Harry nodded, the middle names had been easy, Elizabeth was his mother’s middle name and they had decided on Matthew as it was Embry’s middle name. It was just the first name that they were really struggling on.

“And Nathan Matthew Fuller,” said Harry as he draped his arm over the side of the tub and into the warm water. “Or did you change your mind on that one too?”

“I still like Adam more,” said Terra, as she took Harry’s hand and put it on her stomach. “But if you want Nathan, then we can name the next one Adam.”

Harry smiled and nodded as Terra started humming, he was exhausted after a long night of patrols and a long day of working construction. He always loved working on houses, working with wood and cement and nails. Harry enjoyed it, he liked working with his hands and creating things.

“You should take a nap,” said Terra, as she put a hand on his chin and made him look up at her. “You’re tired and haven’t slept since before patrols yesterday.”

“I’m fine,” said Harry, pulling his face away, “I’m not tired.”

“Harry,” said Terra softly as Harry rested his chin on the edge of the bathtub. “You are exhausted, my love. Go take a nap, I’ll come and join you in a little bit.”

“How will you get out?” asked Harry and Terra sighed. “I’ll be fine right here, just let me know when you’re ready to get out.”

Harry went and got his homework, setting up camp on the toilet while Terra relaxed and gave him the answers to their English class study guide. He had no problem with English, except for Shakespeare, it didn’t even seem to be in English for him.

After another twenty minutes, he helped her get out of the bath and get her clothes on, a weird experience for him. He was used to taking her clothes off, not helping her put them on, at least not with so much time.

“I know what you’re thinking,” said Terra, as she put a hand on his shoulder to steady herself while he helped her put on her socks.

“That we don’t usually do this,” said Harry, as she took a step back and he smiled up at her.

“I don’t mind it,” said Terra as she patted her stomach. “It’s a bit refreshing actually. My parents won’t believe it at all.”

Harry snorted and got up off the floor, before taking Terra’s hand in his and leading her over to their bed. His parent’s had given them the attic room over the dance studio and with some help, Harry had been able to fix up the room and put in a bathroom. The made a small corner of the room into a nursery, with a rocking chair that Harry had made and a crib that his parents had gifted him.

Terra laid down and Harry curled up around her, resting his head on her stomach and holding her close. They only had a few more weeks before they would have a baby, before they would be parents.

~`~

Love is unexpected.

It’s surprises, an unplanned pregnancy, a declaration of love, and a moment that lasts forever. It’s falling over and over and over again, into her, into the only person who matters. It’s making a choice that you live with for the rest of your life.

It’s one and two, it’s unexpected.

~`~

Harry opened his eyes, it was still dark outside, but Terra was sitting up in bed, holding her stomach. She had started to feel the practice contractions a week ago and they were waking her up every night of the last week.

“Laid down on your side,” mumbled Harry, as he put a hand on her back, “I’ll rub your back until they go away.”

“Something’s wrong,” she whispered and Harry blinked a few times to wake up more. He was exhausted after days of working, patrols, and studying for finals. “I don’t know how I can tell, but something is very wrong Harry.”

Harry climbed out of bed and over to her side, turning on the light and helping her to her feet. Terra could barely stand up, her legs were shaking so hard that she could barely slip on her flip-flops.

“You’re bleeding,” said Harry feeling all of his tiredness disappear. “We need to go to the hospital.”

Harry didn’t wait for her to try to walk down the stairs and picked her up in his arms, taking her to the station wagon. He put her in the backseat so she could lay down and then sped as quickly through the streets as he would dare in the night or in the station wagon.

“Harry, slow down,” said Terra as she held onto the back of Harry’s seat. “You’re going too fast.”

“We’re almost there,” said Harry, reaching a hand back to hold hers. His heart was beating out of his chest and he could feel his blood racing through his veins, something was wrong with Terra, with the baby.

It was quiet in the Forks ER, but the nurses and doctors jumped into action the second Harry carried Terra over the threshold. Everything that happened next was a blur. Harry would only remember a few details from the night, Terra being rushed to surgery, Harry being sent to scrub down and get changed into the scrubs, and then holding her hand as the doctors cut into her.

Adam was born first, and the chord was removed from around his neck, then Aria was born next, before the pair of them were sent to the NICU. Harry wanted to run after them, but hearing Terra’s heart stop, watching the color drain from her face stopped him.

She needed him more.

~`~

Love is two beautiful and healthy babies.

It’s toes and fingers and soft skin and loud wailing cries. It’s late nights and early mornings and every hour in between. It’s two verse two, it’s family, it’s a son and daughter, it’s two kids trying their best with two kids of their own.

It’s almost losing everything.

It’s holding them close. It’s kissing and hugging and falling in love with smiles and coo’s.

It’s Baby Adam and it’s Baby Aria, and it’s the pair of them verse Terra and Harry.

~`~

Terra made a noise and Harry reached forward to brush a lock of hair off of her face. She slowly opened her eyes and looked at him, and Harry felt himself falling in love with her all over again.

“You’re awake,” he said, without even thinking. He was exhausted, ever muscle in his body was tired and every one of his nerves was like a frayed live wire.

“Where is?” asked Terra, struggling to sit up. “Where-“

Harry moved forward and helped her sit up, adjusting her pillows and getting her comfortable. “Adam and Aria are in the NICU,” he told her, as he sat back down in the seat beside her bed. “Aria… she’s much smaller than Adam, but she should be okay in a bit of time. The placenta started to breakaway, that’s why you started bleeding. We got you here before the worst could happen to all three of you.”

Harry held her hand as she rubbed at her eyes with the other, he could feel his heart breaking, he hated to see her upset. It was just as bad as when he stood in the surgery room and hear her heart stop.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, putting a hand on her cheek and holding her face. “We’ll all be okay.”

“Where are my parents?” whispered Terra, as she held his hand in both of hers. “Where are your parents?”

“I still haven’t called them,” said Harry, he was finally starting to feel the adrenaline of the night, and now the day, slowly leave him.

“I’m sure they know by now,” said Terra, as she slowly pulled one of her hands away and placed it on her now empty stomach.

Harry had been surprised himself when the doctors had pulled out two baby’s instead of just one. Terra had been bigger than he could remember his mother ever getting, even when she was pregnant with the twins. But, he never heard the second heartbeat or saw a second baby on any of their ultrasounds, no one did.

“They told me,” said Harry softly, taking both of her hands into both of his, “that when you wake up, that we can ask to go see them.”

“Ask?” said Terra, glaring at him. “I have to ask to see the children I haven’t even held yet?”

Harry squeezed her hands in both of his and nodded, because as crazy as it sounded, this was going to be their reality until they could go home. Aria was only three pounds compared to Adam’s six, he just needed to pass a few tests before he came home.

Aria was going to be in the hospital much longer.

“I’ll go talk to the nurses, and call the parents when I’m out there,” Harry told her, as he pulled his hands away and stood up. He grabbed Terra’s phone out of her purse and walked out of the hospital room.

“Terra?” said Hailey in a panic and Harry slumped against the wall.

“No, it’s Harry,” Harry told her with a sigh, “we’re at the hospital.”

“What?” asked Hailey and he could hear a whirlwind of shuffling papers and a chair being pushed along the floor. “Is Terra in labor?”

“She started bleeding late last night, she had an emergency C-section,” said Harry as he closed his eyes, the second he did though, he could hear the heart monitor stopping all over again. “Adam and Aria are in the NICU and Terra woke up a few minutes ago.”

“Adam and Aria?”

“Twins,” whispered Harry as he sat down on the floor. His legs were tired and he could feel his tiredness washing over him.

“Do you want us to come in?” asked Hailey and Harry felt his shoulders relax despite himself. He was asleep before he could answer her.

~`~

Love is coming home.

It’s bringing home your children, your wife, your husband. It’s coming together, it’s falling into a routine, it’s becoming one. One person, one pairing, one family.

Home is what you make of it, it’s what you feel in one place or with one person, or with several people.

Home is love.

~`~

Harry held Aria carefully in his arms, she was still so small, even after her three week stay in the hospital. She was still about two pounds smaller than her brother, but she was coming home.

Adam was quiet and sweet and calm. Aria on the other hand was loud, and vicious, and a fighter.

Aria was fighting to live, fighting against the clock and against the doctor’s predictions. She was a firecracker, she screamed late into the night and early in the morning, she fought Terra with every feeding, and she fought against his soothing warmth.

But they loved her, they loved her fight, her anger, and in her later years, her self-righteousness. Aria would always fight for herself, for her life.

Adam was quiet.

He had no problem being in the background, he let himself slip back behind the lines. He let Aria charge ahead, standing tall in front of him, as if _she_ was the one who was six three and not five two.

Adam was the oldest by two minutes, but no one believed him. He was older and stronger and quieter.

He had the talent of slipping from conversations and from the thought of others. He could slip away and not be heard, not be seen.

He was the oldest sibling, but Harry couldn’t always relate to him. Harry was oldest of seven, which meant a lot of hand holding and babysitting and watching over others.

Adam just slipped away.

~`~

Love is their children.

Adam who stays quiet, who disappears one night and shows up months later. Aria who fights and fights and fights until she makes the difference. Allyson who laughs and sings and makes herself heard. And Avery, who stands tall and stands his ground against his siblings.

All of them make his life difficult, but he would never want anything else.

~`~

Harry ran his fingers through his hair before moving his hand down to rub Terra’s stomach. Baby number four, hopefully another boy, would be coming soon if their doctor was to be believed.

After what happened with the twins, including them not knowing they were having twins. Their next baby, Allyson, their perfect little girl, was born two months early with damaged lungs, which no one told them until they brought her home and she almost suffocated.

Harry was nervous that something was going to happen to Baby number four, or even Terra.

“Get off,” said Terra as she pushed his hand away and he kissed her cheek. “We’re going to be fine this time around.”

Harry pulled away as there was a sound above them, followed by yelling and screaming. They both looked up, then ignored the sounds as it quieted again. Allyson and Aria fought worse than cats and dogs, worse than werewolves and vampires.

He pulled away and leaned against the counter running his hands back up through his short hair as a small face appeared in the kitchen doorway. Harry uncrossed his arms and Allyson ran up to him, he picked her up and let her tuck her head under his chin.

“Hey their Little Bean,” said Harry as he rubbed Allyson’s back. He saw Terra smile out of the corner of his eye and smiled himself.

“Why is Aria so mean?” asked Allyson as she pulled her head away and looked up at him and Terra.

“Aria is not mean,” said Terra, which was the usual mantra that they used when it came to Aria. “She’s just loud and stubborn.”

“That she is,” agreed Harry, before he kissed Allyson’s forehead and put her back down on the floor. Allyson ran off to the living room and Harry leaned back against the counter.

“So we’re done after this one,” said Terra as she put a hand on her back and walked over to the sink. “I can’t stand being pregnant again.”

Harry nodded once she turned back around and she walked over to him and wrapped her damp hands around her neck. He leaned down and kissed her softly as there was another loud noise from upstairs.

“I got it,” whispered Harry, as he pressed a kiss to Terra’s forehead and she let go of him. “I’ll get her to calm down.”

“Good luck,” said Allyson from the kitchen doorway, and Harry turned around to smile at her, causing her to run back into the living room.

~`~

Love is Terra.

~`~

Harry flipped on the radio and started humming along to the song playing. He had built the house they lived in, built almost all of the furniture in their home, and he had even built up a crew and business around them. He called all the shots now, he was in charge of everything.

“ _I'm asking for your help, I am going through hell, afraid nothing can save me, but the sound of your voice_ ,” Harry sang along with the radio, it was an old silly song that his mother loved. “ _You cut out all the noise, and now that I can see mistakes so clearly now, I'd kill if I could take you back_.”

He knelt down on the ground to get a better look at the table he was building for Allyson and her wife Ellie. He felt a pair of hands on his shoulders just as he was about to go underneath the table to sand down the corner.

  
“ _But how? But how? But how? But how? Why must we be so ugly, and please do not speak ill of me, why does the one you love, become the one who makes you want to cry_.”

Harry turned his head and looked up at Terra, who was smiling down at him. It was odd for her to ever be taller than him, but he didn’t mind it too much. “Hey there,” she said and Harry smiled as she came to sit down beside him.

“Hey,” said Harry, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. Terra reached over and flipped off the radio, and rested her head on his chest.

Harry smiled and leaned down to kiss her forehead, their journey to here had been a long and bumpy one, it had more unexpected twists and turns than they wanted, but they had made it. They had four beautiful and lovely children, they had them under less than ideal conditions, or at least the twins.

“Allyson will love this,” said Terra as she reached out a hand to rub it against the smooth surface of the table.

“I was almost thinking about keeping it for us and giving them our table,” Harry told her and Terra rolled her eyes.

“You’ll never be able to give up that table,” said Terra with a giggle. “At least not to Allyson, I didn’t give birth to her on it.”

Harry rolled his eyes this time and kissed her cheek. She was right, if he was going to give their kitchen table to anyone, it would’ve been Avery.

“Your right,” said Harry, getting up to his feet and pulling Terra up with him. He pulled her closer into his arms and kissed her softly, hugging her into his chest.

“I love you,” whispered Terra, resting her head against his shoulder.

“I love you too,” whispered Harry, smiling down at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And part two is now done, as always let me know what you thought! Thank you for reading!
> 
> Up next is Claire and Quil.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think! R&R!


End file.
